To Each their Own

Posted: July 13, 2010 in Life, Musing

I was just praying and working through some ideas I’ve had, and one of them was how I feel like I’m not spending as much time as I’d like to creating. Now there was a lot going on around that about my relationship with God, not replacing the unsure Adventure of the Sacred Romance with Him with a controllable, lesser love, etc. But after He helped me work through how to see my work as an artist in a healthy light, I’m still left with that frustration.

Anyway, that frustration got me to thinking about how I tend to overstretch myself. I got into RPing with my girlfriend over at Ocean of Stars, and I really enjoy it. It helps the creative juices flow and helps me learn more about writing my characters. But, I feel like I get caught in a tug of war between that and my various art projects, and throw in my intimidation, and you get me standing still.

So of course I started to think along my usual route, which is that of “back away from stuff and recommit.” But thing is I’ve tried to do that several times and I think it’s throwing the baby out with the bathwater. What I need is a way to strike the balance, give the appropriate amount of time to my various endeavors, proportional to their importance. So I’m thinking I need to have a day that’s set aside for things like RPing, gaming, etc., that aren’t strictly “productive” or what have you but that I feel are nontheless important.

I’ve always struggled with prioritizing things. It’s just difficult for me to make things systematic. And yet getting into habits isn’t quite as hard. Maybe if I could find a way to make prioritizing a habit? I dunno; it’s just hard for me to say “okay, from this hour to this hour will be drawing time, from this hour to this hour is talking to girlfriend time, from this hour to this hour is” etc. It’s too routine, too mechanical. And yet having some kind of structure to my day actually makes me feel more free to get things done.

What can I do to make a flexible structure that doesn’t make me feel like I’m trying to control everything? That leaves room for life to happen but still more or less structures my time so that I give to each priority it’s appropriate time?


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